My oldest daughter, (she is 9), has always been a thinker and a worrier. She takes everything in, even when you think she isn’t listening, you can pretty much be sure that she is.
I am not sure if I have mentioned it on this blog before or not, but last year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. (I don’t talk about it much here – this is my blog for fun things and talk about “mom” stuff. I have my blog for that other “stuff” at HopeWearsPink.com)
It has been a long year and a half – the kids had to deal with a lot that I wish they never had to. Both of my daughter’s were very concerned throughout all my surgeries and treatments, and they were just the absolute best kids in the world.
My oldest one, however, ended up worrying so much about me that, on the day of her Halloween party last year, she ended up fainting – falling hard onto the floor and getting carpet burn on her forehead and arms. You see, she had been worrying about whether or not I would be back in time for her party at the school – she knew I had gone to the chemo unit for a tour before I started my treatments, and she had worried herself to the point that when I went to put an earring in her ear – she fainted when it pinched a bit.
She has always been a very kind hearted girl. So is my other daughter – and I have no doubt that what they had to endure the past few months have likely made them even more so.
Anyway! Last night, my 9 year old informed me that she didn’t want very much for Christmas this year.
Me: “Why would you say that?”
Daughter: “Mom, I know we don’t have very much money, so I just don’t want you guys to have to spend much on presents for me”.
Me: “Oh sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about stuff like that! I will get you whatever I feel you deserve, and if you have been a good girl, then you just don’t need to worry!”
Daughter: “I knew you would say that mom. So I guess I am just going to have to be really bad so that you won’t feel like getting me anything!”
I was speechless. The fact that she realizes that we have been struggling a bit financially over the past few months, makes me feel both blessed that she understands, and sad that she has to even worry about it.
Being sick costs a lot of money. Yes, some stuff is covered through insurance – but it still ends up costing a lot which is proving to be a bit difficult to dig our way back out from. And, I guess she has heard us talking about money being a bit tight.
Yesterday, when we had gone to buy them both new ski pants and winter boots, we had our bank card declined – (which was actually a huge mistake since we had transfered the money into that account before we left – not realizing that a payment was going to be taken out). It was embarassing to say the least. And, even though we were able to still pay using our bank card for my husband’s business account, my daughter had seen what happened, and it scared her.
I wish my kids didn’t have to worry about stuff like this. It just makes me feel so sad – but it also makes me more determined than ever to do the things I am trying to do to bring more money in to our family.
In the meantime, I am overwhelmed with how completely full my heart feels knowing how blessed I am to have kids who understand that money doesn’t just grow on trees, and that they shouldn’t be able to get whatever they want.
They don’t care if they have the brand name shoes, or the fancy, expensive, designer jeans. They are happy with what they have – and that makes me more proud than I can even put into words.
And while Christmas might be a bit tight here this year, I know that my kids will be thankful for whatever they are given.